Is It Okay to Date My Ex-Boyfriend Again?

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Is It Okay to Date My Ex-Boyfriend Again?

By Guest Blogger Michael James


In this day and age it is extremely unlikely that your first relationship will blossom into a lifelong happy marriage.  The dating world has become much of a trial and error experience.  In this quest for a blissful connection with the person you love, many errors are made.  The inevitable errors are what we have come to know as the ex-boyfriend.  The ex-boyfriend comes in many different forms:  Short-term connection over a few dates; mid-term coupledom over a few months to a year; and long-term power couple over multiple years.  In the end, they all turned out to fall into the same bucket known as ‘the ex’.  The relationship ended and you moved on to better things.  Or did you?  Is it ever okay to revisit the possibility that your ex may actually be the one?

Your initial thought may be a resounding ‘No’!  An ex is an ex for a reason.

Consider this:  On your first attempt to add one plus one you arrive at three.  Is this right?  Of course not.  You try again and get five.  Still wrong.  Try again.  One plus one must equal four.  No it doesn’t.  After searching for the right answer and being unable to find it, would you go back to three again?  Is it possible three is the right answer even though you’ve tested your math and proved three is wrong?

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Before you jump to conclusions that your ex is to stay in your past, you need to probe the reason(s) as to why the relationship ended.  Let’s start with the easiest question:  Did he cheat on you?  If the answer to this question is yes, move on.  Even if he never cheats on your again, you will always have that thought in the back of your mind.  Resentment will eventually win out.  This is a road you do not want to travel.  Next ask yourself if you are going back to your ex out of convenience.  Did you just end another relationship and are looking for something easy and familiar to offer some comfort?  This is another flashing red warning to stay away.  It’s easy to seek out someone with whom you have had a deep connection, but easy is not always right.

If you can get past these two issues without putting a checkmark next to either of them, you may have a legitimate reason to get back together.

Did you originally break up over something insignificant?  Perhaps you were each under stress from a situation, such as financial burden, school or work issues, or pressure from friends.  It could have just been the wrong time in your life for a serious relationship.  You will need to comb over the details leading up to the end.  Can you find a reason that cannot be overcome?  Does the reason still exist in the present?

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Many relationships end over nonsensical reasons that in hindsight are blaringly ridiculous.  Were you wrong?  Was he wrong?  Were you both to blame?  Don’t let your pride get in the way of rekindling a flame with a past love.  If neither of you cheated, if neither of you are on the rebound, and if you cannot think of any serious reason why the relationship ended, then you are free and clear to give it another go.  There was a reason why you two got together in the first place.  Focus on the positives and the second time around may just lead you to the balanced equation.  Finally, one plus one equals two.  Now you’ve got it.

Want more advice?  Learn here how you could improve your dating life with a variety of free tips and actionable advice.

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